Yesterday, I did something possibly ill advised, of which I am sure the consequences will be biding their time until they come back to haunt me.

For the benefit of those reading who have never met me, it may come as a suprise for you to learn I'm not quite like the majority of people, I have never had an inclination to follow the herd, I blame this entirely on my family.. I do not strive to be 'different' or 'alternative' in my dress or disposition, I simply know what is and isn't 'me' and actually I'd stand out far more in the fashion uniform of the masses, simply because it would be at odds with me... equally.. I have never felt inclined to do anything other then speak properly, yes I have something of an accent, but it wanders around various regions at a seconds notice, theres a lot to be said for enuciation, pronuciation and indeed the correct inclusion of consonants (which isn't to say 'appen I never drop the occasional 'h' or indeed 't'.. but the inflection is there... what I don't do is replace 'tt' with a 'ck' sound.. I loathe and destest THAT kind of behaviour) anyway.. yes.. you should now have the idea in your head, that I, Fanylion am a little, how shall we put this without sounding dreadfully cliched and up ones own arse.. erm... kooky..


For all of that slight oddness, in my own way I fit in with the right kind of people, I live in an area where theres very much a social divide.. there are the decent, honest people, and at risk of sounding like a crushing snob.. there are the chavs.. the vast majority of the latter, look down their immaculatley made up noses at everyone else - they simply KNOW they are of superior standing, I do not bother them, they do not bother me, occasionally I suspect they consider ringing the fashion police, or indeed having me sectioned based on my devillment of wearing checks AND stripes.. and then.. just in case there wasn't enough playground politics.. you have the extras from shameless.., the people who I have no qualms abut appearing snob
bish about, the ones who roll up pissed at hometime, who stand shouting and swearing in the playground, making tactless remarks and being frankly nasty.. just to make themselves feel better.

Since my eldest started school, I have established myself, been accepted by the other parents, as yes.. a bit 'odd' sometimes, but not terrifyingly weird.. I have firm friendships, people who take me for who and what I am.. and then, then theres 'monstrosity #1' as I shall call her.

And herein is the crux of my waiting for a situation to bite me on the arse, you see I broke the cardinal rule, instead of, just letting her railroad me OUT of the way, and out of control of a situation wth my own child (bear in mind this is not someone who could consider me even a casual mate, and if she does, it says more about her lack of intuition and ooh intelligence then it does mine) I steadfastly remained calm, and ignored her... assuming perhaps that she might take the hint and back off.. she didn't

I to avoid confrontation, kept a very very low profile..

and then, it, the monstrosity cornered me in the street, where people where innocently unloading their children from cars to deposit them at school...

And in the politest way imaginable.. I warned her, that she really didn't want to speak to me, it was not in her better interests, my mood was bad, my temper short.. and there it was.. the moment perhaps when she realised... Fanylion *doesn't* actually like me, THATS why she never sends me a christmas card, never stops to talk to me in the street, never invites me down for coffee.. and looks so bloody BORED when I speak... she swore in her dulcet, consonant dropped tones at me...

I didn't let rip people, I didn't execute the verbal castration, or character assasination..

no

I turned on my heel.. (she flinched actually) looked her in the eye, and made it quite clear, that I was in a BAD mood, and actually, like every other human being walking the face of this planet... I will take it out on whomsoever I wish...as is my wont.

I left her, stood, mouth flapping like a liver diseased acne riddled 2 legged goldfish and walked home, hand in hand with my ailing child, head held high..

and I know, the fall will come.

I know..

when I LEAST expect it, andthere are enough people around to witness my downfall.. then

at that moment it will come.. a launched tirade, that would have Jeremy Kyle running for cover.

I will be this, that and indeed the other, I have no doubt about that..

if I'm really lucky, she'll try and hit me.

for my part, as I know its coming, I intend to do what my Mother always taught me to do with bullies, look bored, ask nicely if she's quite finished yet and rise above it..

I'm hoping, you see.. that on that fateful day, I'll get the TV movie cheer, that my boys and I will be carried out of school on the shoulders of a rejoicing crowd..

that the Monstrosity will be seen for what she really is, tarred, feathered and run out of town, back to the village she came from.

Though I expect of course, in reality.. she'll shout and yawp and take a swing at me, I'll behave with dignity and let it wash over me... people will wonder quite whats just happened there, and the gossip mongers will have a field day...