If you see me on Redwatch, let me know!

For the past three years or so, I have lived next door to the BNP candidate (not standing in the General election, presumably this is on account when he stood in the local and European Elections he mustered a massive 200 votes - that's 200 too many mind)

Some years ago I was quite unashamedly rude to him on the Bus - where he did much of his canvassing, I had no idea he was my neighbour, largely on account hes something of a short arse and its impossible to see him above the 5 foot hedge at the front. I have regular altercations with his Dog 'Elsie' a misc bull terrier who is wont to shit on my back lawn, his dulcet tones through the hedge urging me to 'twat the bitch with a stick' ( I never have, on the grounds it could eat me)

Periodically I am aware in the small hours of morning, that both he and his dog are in my garden, I have made it known that I am aware of this, I have speculated to the garden in a monologue that perhaps I ought to complain to the council, or have the local police covertly watch the house... I have paced my kitchen in the small hours with a hammer, contemplating stainghis narrow minded skull in (and the law would be on my side)

However, I cannot at present complain to the Council - my only option as he isn't a social tenant would be to move, from what is one of a very few nice estates in Chesterfield, also.. in the intervening period between making my monologues and slinging turds over the hedge with the aid of a shovel an odd thing has occured on more then one occasion.

Now to say my neighbour is at times difficult to get an answer from is an understatement, I have oft heard folk knocking at his door for a good twenty minutes before he is moved to open it, I have frequently answered my own door in error, to be confronted with a variety of middle aged men on the other side of the low wall dividing our front doors... from these men I have learned I live next door to a Mr Tasker, I have also learned from one of the few 'men of a certain age and disposition' who have perplexingly come to my back door when he has neglected to answer to ask after 'Graham'.

simple searching via google reveals a colourful history.

I live next door to a convicted criminal who has served time at her majesties pleasure for attacks on women (albeit women of black or Asian descent) and indeed Solicitors in neighbouring towns. He is then, not an individual I wish to get on the wrong side of, we shall simply agree to disagree, I'm happy for immigrants to live in the country, I'm happy for people without connections to the local area historically to live and move here (gawd knows I'm one of the latter) what i won't be doing is causing any ripples on the water, I won't be bothering him in the slightest way, I may have a fence erected to end the issue with his shitting dog and let bygones be bygones.

after all, some years ago, I managed to not realise I lived next to a prostitute (we were TOLD the house next door was a brothel - I naively believed simply the young woman in question was a masseuse) I shall keep my liberal minded, potentially Nazi offending head down... my face after all is known to them, I wonder now, how many of the seemingly innocuous incidents over the past few months have been premeditated, for example the man I found sniffing round my car 'looking for number ** with a takeaway', I turn a deaf ear to the sounds of what MUST be dogfights some nights, and am mindful to keep a low profile when the Police are hammering on his door with a vanful of backup.


I won't however be afraid.